Seattle Boudoir Photographer has shot 10,000 Sessions. Here’s What Those Women All Had in Common.

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Ten thousand is a lot of women. And an insane amount of boudoir.

It’s also a lot of conversations that started with: 

First of all, no.

Second of all, try me.

Because if you tell me you need to lose 15 pounds before your session, I will absolutely grab my own belly, jiggle the shit out of it in front of you, and then show you exactly how hot my own photographs look with that same tummy in the shot. I have receipts. 😂

And the thing I know most clearly, after fifteen years and ten thousand boudoir sessions, is this: Every single one of them was nervous. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

The women who looked completely confident pulling up to the studio? Nervous. The women who had done boudoir before? Yep, nervous. And the women who emailed me: “I’m so excited! I can’t wait!” Also NERVOUS.

They were just excited-nervous instead of I’m-about-to-puke-nervous. And that’s important. Because nervousness before a boudoir session isn’t a sign that you’re the wrong person for this. It’s actually a pretty normal response to doing something vulnerable. You care about how it goes. You want the photographs to be good. You’re doing something outside your normal routine. So of course your nervous system has entered the chat.

So if you’ve been thinking about doing this and you’re nervous?

Congratulations. You’re officially normal.

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They were all convinced they weren’t the right body type for boudoir

This one still gets me, fifteen years in. It doesn’t matter what size someone is or age they are. It doesn’t matter what they look like in a swimsuit, in real life, or standing in front of the bathroom mirror at 7:14 on a Tuesday morning while aggressively judging themselves.

Almost every person I’ve photographed has had some version of this thought:

“Boudoir is for women who look a certain way. I’m not sure I’m one of them.”

Yes. You are. I guarantee it.

I’ve photographed women in sizes that would fit in a sample rack, and women who could snap that sample rack in half with the power of their thighs. I’ve photographed marathon runners and women who prefer their marathons to include Netflix. Women with six-pack abs, and women who think “core strength” means successfully carrying all the grocery bags in one trip.

Women who had scars and stretch marks and cellulite and chronic illness and mastectomy scars and bodies that had been through things. Bodies that had been through pregnancies, surgeries, injuries, illness, grief, aging and approximately 900 other things that bodies do because that’s what bodies do.

The self-doubt tho? Weirdly consistent.

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They all thought they couldn’t pose

This one’s easy to address: posing is my job. Not yours.

I often hear, “I have no idea what to do with my body.” Which honestly, is fair. Most people don’t spend their Tuesdays draped across a fur covered couch while someone yells, “Chin down! Eyes up! HOLY BALLS YOU LOOK HOT AF!!” Like, I get it. 

I’ve done this over 10,000 times and I absolutely know how to make you look incredible, and will guide you the entire way to achieve that. From head to toe, I will direct every little detail.

So when you’re ready for me to scream to you about how bangin’ your ass is, your only job is to just show up. I’ve got alllll the rest.

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They all thought their nervousness meant they weren’t ready

It didn’t.

Being nervous before a boudoir session means you’re about to do something brave. You’ve probably been thinking about this for a while and now it’s actually happening and your nervous system is paying attention. Your brain knows it. Your body knows it. It’s like Your nervous system is standing in the corner holding a tiny clipboard like:

“Ma’am, are we SURE about this?”

Yes. Yes we are. 😂

Here’s what I tell every client who texts me the morning of their session saying they’re freaking out a little:

The nervousness doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do this. It means you absolutely should. Show up and you’ll see.

Every single person who has shown up anyway has been glad they did. And the transformation from nervous to confidence rarely happens the way people think it will. They expect confidence to take time and slowly build. Nah, it will arrive like a lightning bolt to your soul. And it will go exactly like this:

“Can I see?”

Folllowed by:

“Wait.”

And then:

“HOLY SHIT THAT’S ME.”

And that’s the moment. Nerves: GONE.

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Boudoir is personal and they were all doing it for a reason that was completely their own

Boudoir gets associated with gifts — specifically, gifts for partners. And yes, some of my clients are doing it for that reason. Their partner’s birthday, their anniversary, something they’ve been thinking about giving for years. And that’s fantastic. But the majority of my clients are doing it for themselves. And their reasons are wildly different:

YES. That one. Because here’s the thing:

You DON’T need a reason.

You don’t need a milestone or a birthday, or to have or leave a relationship. And you certainly don’t need to lose weight first.

You can simply think: “I want to do this.” And that is enough.

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They were all glad they came

I’m not saying this because I’m trying to sell you a boudoir session. I’m saying it because after 15 years, I feel a responsibility to tell you what I’ve actually seen. The women who walk out of my studio after seeing themselves—really seeing themselves—in professionally created photographs experience something. I don’t have a clinical name for it. I’m not a therapist. I’m a photographer. But I’ve watched it happen 10,000 times.

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So if you’ve been on the fence about booking your Seattle boudoir session

I get it. And I know what you’re thinking because I’ve heard it 10,000 times. You’re wondering if you’re too something or not enough something. If the timing is right, if the investment makes sense, if you’d actually go through with it.

And here’s what I can tell you: every person who I’ve shot was wondering those same things, and came out the other side glad they did.

Not some of them. ALL of them.

So when you’re ready to have your own ‘holy shit that’s me’ moment, I’ll be right here waiting for you.

🔥 Ready to see what Future You has to say? Take the Permission Granted quiz.

Or if you’re ready to skip the quiz and talk to me directly, hit me up here!

🔥Stay Lit,

Amy | Seattle Boudoir Photographer | Official Shutter Upper of Inner Critics and Other Self Inflicted Silly Goosery

Amy is a Seattle-area boudoir photographer with 15+ years of experience and 10,000+ sessions photographed. Fire & Light Boudoir is a private studio in Mountlake Terrace, WA, serving clients throughout the greater Seattle and Puget Sound area.